The Negative Adjective Series: Horrible
by Aurora-Jane Turner
Summary: This was horrible. The winning-an-achievement-award-at-school-and-walking-all-the-way-up-to-the-stage-only-realising-after-you’ve-accepted-the award-it-wasn't-for- you-at-all kind of horrible. I might actually love him.
1. Congratulations

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_Hated the other one. _

_So you get this one instead. _

_Enjoy, Love A.J_

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**Horrible**

_By A.J Turner_

Chapter One: Congratulations

This was horrible. The winning-an-achievement-award-at-school-and-walking-all-the-way-up-to-the-stage-only-realising-after-you've-accepted-the award-it-wasn't-for- you-at-all kind of horrible. I might actually love him. That can't be right… I mean I may not hate him, but love him?

I'll start at the start of this horrible day where I realised my true feelings.

My parents are singers. Great I know, but they're not famous at all. They sing for hire. And they got me a job as a waitress with the company they're at. So I spend every summer I'm home from boarding school waiting table for rich peoples wedding receptions, or cocktail parties.

So as the van for _Phil's_, the company my parents work for, brilliantly named after the owner Phil, pulled up outside a magnificent hotel I couldn't help but feel miserable.

"All right guys. Make me proud" Our driver Eddie said.

We all smiled and climbed out of the truck. Eddie and the others began pulling the bands equipment out of the truck.

We all followed them into the hotel lobby and past the magnificent grand staircase into a beautiful ballroom.

"Rich" Jordan scoffed

"Heavy tippers" Eddie said straightening his bow tie.

"Heavy perverts you mean" Fran muttered glancing at me. I knew why, I was the youngest and that always seemed to attract older single rich men. As my parents were always a little distracted singing the others would all watch out for me.

I stood beside the other waiters and waitresses as we waited for the hosts to come over and brief us. A man in his late forties walked over to us.

"_Phil's_ waiters?" he asked we all nodded.

"Head waiter?" he asked we all looked at Eddie.

"Me" he said

"All right" the man said, "I am Mr Harrison, that's all you need to know and that's all you shall call me. Now it's my sister's thirtieth wedding anniversary. Which is why we're having it here rather then in my personal ballroom as usual. Something special you know. So I want you all to do what you do best. We've pre ordered food your job is to merely go around and hand every one a dish through each course and refresh their drinks and so on"

"Yes sir" Eddie said

"Very good. I see there are a lot of you so if you run out of things to do I don't mind in the slightest if you chat to a few of the guests… or dance with them" Mr Harrison said looking me up and down.

"It's actually against company policy to be that… relaxed on the job" Eddie said "but of course we shall chat to your guests and we all thank you for choosing _Phil's _service to assist on this joyous occasion"

"Hmm" Harrison mumbled and walked off.

"Thanks" I said quietly to Eddie he patted my shoulder before walking off. I frowned at the other female waitresses. We all had the same white shirt, red vest and black skirt. The guys wore the same things except the got pants instead of skirts and had to wear bow ties.

I kind of wish the girls did to… it meant I would be able to button up my shirt, the fewer guys staring at my chest the better.

It was still another hour before the guests actually showed up so the band was rehearsing.

"May I have this dance milady?" Don asked holding out his hand. I smiled at him took it. He led me on to the dance floor and we began dancing to the bands first song.

"So Lily… do tell me… how did you end up at _Phil's_?" Don asked

"Those are my parents," I said pointing to mum and dad who were singing a song I'd never heard.

"Really? Well better not do what I'm about to do then," Don muttered.

"What was that?" I asked. He twirled me around and then tipped me back making me laugh. He pulled me up and twirled me once more before resuming the shuffle we'd been doing before. I giggled as he twirled me once more.

"So how old are you then?" Don asked

"Why? Interested in me?" I asked

"Possibly" he muttered.

"Seventeen" I said

"Ah… illegal" he said letting go of me. I stared at him he laughed and pulled me close again. I noticed a few others of the waiting staff dancing around us while the rest of them went to try and find some place to cram in fifty cigarettes into the next hour.

"Why? How old are you?" I asked as we started to dance again.

"Twenty-six" he said with a cough. My parents finished singing and we applauded politely.

"I'm getting some hiss back or something" mum said, the technical crew fiddled with a few things and the band struck up another song to test the speakers.

"I love to compliment the ladies. Just seeing them do that nervous modest cute little blush…" Don said continuing to dance with me. At a quarter past six we all began to get ready for the guests to begin arriving.

We all walked around the tables straightening cutlery and shining glasses, making sure it all looked stunning.

We all walked over and met Eddie at five to six to he could hand out a guest list. We were supposed to find the guests and get them to their assigned seat.

"You will stick to your assigned table. Mr Harrison wants the same waiter at every table… he thinks it'll be nicer if the guests get to know us as their own personal waiter through out the night" he said and glanced at me.

Everyone sort of came in randomly, each of them with gifts for the happy couple, wearing more then my houses worth in jewellery. Everything was supposed to start at seven so everyone sort of mingled for a bit.

I had tables one. Table one was front and centre meaning this was obviously for the head couple.

There were about ten people grouped around each table, meaning I'd be looking after just ten people. There were only about twenty tables all over the ballroom… and still there was enough room for another eighty more.

"Why am I on this table?" I asked Eddie pointing to number one.

"Isn't that the most important table? Why would you give me that table?" I asked

"Some people need to watch two tables. Which means twenty people so I put all my skilled waiters on those. As table one is the most important so I had to have someone working only one and you're immediately behind the others I picked to do double" Eddie replied.

"Huh…" I muttered.

"They'll get here last, it's a surprise so you won't have to bother showing them a table" he said

"This is where Mr Harrison is sitting isn't it?" I asked Eddie gave me a feeble shrug before walking off to greet some newly arrived guests.

The clock hit seven and all the guests had arrived and were sitting where they were supposed to be.

I stood with all the other waiters as we waited for the happy couple to appear and Mr Harrison to reveal his surprise to his sister.

A nice couple looking about in their late forties walked in. Everone shouted 'surprise' and applauded.

"Ah Georgia. It seems like a Melania ago that we saw you drive off in that limo the new Mrs Thomas Potter. But it was merely three decades. And tonight we celebrate those decades. So sit back and enjoy little sis… everything's taken care of," Mr Harrison said. Everyone cheered and applauded.

"Ok, grab only two plates at a time… offer drinks after every one on your table has a plate," Eddie said.

Georgia and Thomas Potter were shown to table one by Mr Harrison. He sat beside them with a few other adults.

I quickly grabbed two plates, of what appeared to be a strange green soup and headed over to table one. I put the plates in front of the celebratory couple then hurried away to get more.

After everyone on my table had a plate I pulled one of the twenty drink carts over to the table.

I saw two newcomers sitting at the table. They both looked about my age but I didn't really get a good look.

"Hello I'm Lily I'll be your waitress… would you like anything to drink?" I asked the Potters.

"Oh my aren't you a sweet dear. How old are you deary?" Georgia asked me.

"I'm seventeen miss," I said with a nod of my head.

"Call me Georgia" she insisted, "Do your parents know your doting on an old lady like me Lily?" Georgia asked.

"I should hope so my parents are the singers," I said pointing to them.

"Do you always do this with your parents?"

"Yes miss, and I love every minute. Is there anything you wanted to drink?" I asked politely.

"Yes… just a small glass of wine" she said smiling at me. I picked up her glass and poured the wine for her.

"Anybody else?" I asked holding up the wine. They all requested their drinks and I walked around the table pouring champagne, water, wine or anything else I had on the cart that they requested.

I walked over to the two newcomers

"I'm sorry sirs I did not realise you'd be dining here" I said "I'll go get you some soup if you'd like"

"That is _all right_ Lilykins" the first one said and pulled me onto his lap. I stared at the guy who'd grabbed me. Messy jet-black hair, bright hazel eyes shining with pent up mischief and that charming smile that made women melt in his arms.

It was he… _him_.

"James Potter?" I said in surprise.

"Lillian how are you doing?" he asked I opened my mouth but said nothing and instead turned to the guy beside him. Those familiar grey eyes that could win him whatever he wanted, the shaggy shoulder length black hair and his soft rugged face.

"Sirius Black" I said staring at him. He grinned that charming grin of his and took the bottle of wine I still had in my hand from me.

"Wow… this is expensive" he said and drank straight from the bottle. A few people chuckled while I tried to not act appalled. I instead decided to just walk away and hope they wouldn't need me. I went to stand up but James still had an arm around my waist.

"No, Lily stay. Chat for a minute" he insisted pulling me back down.

"James" Mr Harrison said warningly.

"Oh hush, Georgia and Tommy are having a good time aren't you guys?" Sirius asked the Potters. They smiled at Sirius

"You can keep the bottle but let the poor girl get back to her job" Thomas Potter said. James smiled patting my leg affectionately before letting me go. I stood up dusting myself off self-consciously.

"Did you want the soup sir?" I asked Sirius.

"No… I'll take a cheeseburger"

"Sirius" Mr Harrison said.

"Relax man. I'm only being a jerk because you're a jerk to James. Lily up for a dance?" Sirius asked standing up.

"I'm sorry sir I'm not-" I said he put a finger to my lips stopping me mid sentence.

"Enough with the sir" he said and sat back down.

"What about you sir?" I asked James

"Just the champagne" he said. I poured him a glass and handed it to him. He took it graciously.

"Off you go. Stand in your corner until James decides to feel you up again" Sirius said James glared at him.

"I knew I should've put you boys on another table" Mr Harrison said.

"Aw come on Uncle Jeff… they're my parents. Do you really think they'd go for being separated from me?" James asked.

"James. Quit being a smart arse" Thomas said James nodded silently.

"And you Jeffery… grow up. This petty feud between you and my son is irritating" Georgia said.

"Now it's my wedding anniversary. I'd like to enjoy it. So James can I count on you to be the mature one? As it seems your uncle has not changed since he was twelve" George said looking at Mr Harrison.

"Look you've made Lily feel awkward. I'm trying to date this girl and your not helping the cause," James said standing up.

"Just go stand over there until we need you again" he said quietly in my ear. I nodded and walked away silently.

James Potter. I'd hated him since the first moment he opened his big yap to say something. He'd apparently liked me as he kept trying to go out with me. But after putting up this huge resistance and finally getting him to leave me alone I realised I did actually like him.

I'd spent a good six years of my life convincing the world that James Potter was an arrogant snotty rich kid who got whatever he wanted but would not have me. And then to have myself go and fall for him… well it was like a punch in the face. I liked the way he hovered around, asking about everything I did. And I liked that cute little grin he had only for me.

"Lily? Are you all right? I saw you at that table. Want to swap?" Eddie asked. I glanced over at the table. They were all laughing at something Sirius was saying. I looked at James who stared right back at me. He gave me that special grin and I almost tripped over.

"No" I sighed in reply to Eddie.

"Well you are right in front of your parents. He does anything again I'm sure your dad will jump down and hit him" Eddie muttered I nodded with a quick glance back over at my table.

"That'll be funny," I said

"Tenner says he does it" Eddie said

"Deal" I said and shook his hand.

After another tedious hour everyone was either finishing their dessert or dancing on the ball room floor.

Sirius and James had eaten a bit of dessert and were functioning nearly completely on alcohol alone. I glanced over and they were demanding more drinks.

"Wine! More wine!" they said joyfully. It was quite funny to see these two smashed. I mean they were funny when they were sober and doubly when they were off their face.

I walked over with another bottle.

"Refresh your drink sir?" I asked Sirius

"No… I fear I may actually pass out. Just another glass for James. I must drain his sorrows," he said patting James on the shoulder. I poured James a glass, which he sipped

"Ask why… I know you want to" Sirius said.

"Why are you drowning his sorrows?" I asked Sirius hit the table and smiled at me.

"His lovely girlfriend dumped him. He's looking for rebound sex if you're in" he said

"No thank you" I said.

"Sit with us… drink with us" James said with a hiccough.

"I'm sorry sirs… it's against company policy"

"We have to throw a party and invite Lily. Cause then she wouldn't be working and could get smashed with us" Sirius said nodding enthusiastically.

"Lily, how much have these two had?" Eddie asked.

"A lot" I replied.

"You know we can't-" Eddie began but I interrupted.

"I _didn't_… one of them distracts me and the other steals it from the cart" I protested.

"It's true. I can testify" Sirius said standing up only to fall flat on his face.

"I don't think you lads should have any more" Eddie said.

"Of course young sir. Wouldn't want to get lovely Lily fired" James said sobering in a second. I frowned at him but said nothing. Eddie eyed them suspiciously but said nothing and just walked away.

"Little act of ours to piss off James's Uncle Jeff. He hates us so we pretend to be drunk and he says whatever he wants. He thinks we won't remember due to the awful hangovers we should have" Sirius said.

"But as I've actually only had two glasses of wine and a glass of champagne I can actually safely say I'm going to remember" James said.

"I've had three bottles of… something" Sirius said and then frowned at what he was currently drinking. "But I can hold my liquor"

"Then next time we see him we bring it all up and make him suffer endlessly for it. You think he'd learn to keep his mouth shut in front of drunk people," James said smiling.

"You've got ten bottles here… where's it all going if your not drinking it?" I asked in spite myself.

"Magic!" Sirius cried clapping enthusiastically. I turned and saw Mr Harrison hovering nearby.

"I think it's best if you don't give them any more tonight" Mr Harrison said to me. I nodded and glanced at Sirius and James who were laughing at something.

Some beautiful speeches were made by the Potters and a few of their friends then everyone danced a little more before they all slowly left.

I stood with all the other waiters as we waited for the last of the guests to leave before beginning to clean up.

"Bye, bye Lily I suspect I shall see you at my cousins wedding" James said glancing at Mr Harrison who glared back at him.

"I don't think so, your probably not coming" Mr Harrison said.

"Don't be silly Jeff" Georgia said with a laugh.

James hugged me and then pulled away an arm around my waist the other holding on to a bit of my hair.

"So… pretty" he said glancing at Mr Harrison.

"Can I take her home?" he asked looking at his parents.

"Looks like someone's had a little too much to drink" Thomas said to me almost apologetically.

"Come on dear, let the nice girl go" Georgia said tapping James's shoulder.

"I want it I want it I want," he said almost like a spoilt child. I had to bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. I heard Fran snigger behind me and a few of the others snort as they tried not to laugh.

"Ok… I'll leave her only if I get to go to cousin Bens wedding_ and_ you get Lily's company to come and Lily as well…" James said everyone stared at Mr Harrison.

"Jeff the poor girl looks exhausted and surely just wants to go home. Now I know my Jimmy and if he says he will not let her go he's not going to unless you agree," Georgia said with a small wink at James.

"Of course… you were all wonderful" Mr Harrison said to us. "Tell Phil he has an excellent bunch of employees"

"Oh thank you Mr Harrison sir" Eddie said and we all murmured our thanks.

Mr Harrison smiled and walked off.

"Your not really drunk at all are you?" Thomas asked.

"No I am not," James said smiling. "Can I take her home anyway?"

"No!" his parents said. He grinned at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before letting me go.

I stared after him a small smile on my lips.

Oh my God!

And that was the day I realised… I might be in love with James Potter.

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_Hello readers,_

_I didn't like the other one. As you read before_

_I love this one and I hope you all do. _

_It's just a better story line and I can find it going somewhere. _

_Well… please leave a review so I know it you love it. _

_Till next time, A.J_

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	2. Hello Again

Chapter Two: Hello Again

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no… I can't. Like him yes by all means that is acceptable but love him? No! Out of the question!

It's a confusing time for me… I'm seventeen… my body is changing… my hormones are all out – _OH who am I kidding?_

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I've never been in love how do I know what it is?

Oh but I do. This is love.

God and all he thinks is that I'm hot!

"Lily" mum called. I sat up

"Yeah?"

"Come on dear we have to go. It's that party by those rich people… remember? You made such an impression on their son" mum said sounding almost happy.

Ok I'll admit right here I'm a bit of a dork, I prefer to read books then hang out with boys. My older sister likes to hang out with boys, my mum liked to hang out with boys. My dad liked to hang out with girls.

So yes I'm not like them much… I'll never have as many friends as they do, I'm the only one with red hair, and I'm a witch. Yes witch. Magic wand and flying broomstick, I don't fly that well though.

I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it's a boarding school that teaches, yep you guessed it, magic.

I'm about two weeks away from starting my seventh and final year, as head girl. That's what years of friendless studying gets me. Excellent grades and a shiny badge, many would find that boring but not me… oh no. I love it. Learning… I just love it.

I'm a muggle born. Muggles are what magical people call normal people. Muggle born means my parents are normal and so is everyone else in my family except me.

I've always thought of this as the reason for my thirst for knowledge. I'm determined to prove myself to the magical community… they often look down upon people like myself, but it's never really bothered me all that much.

James and Sirius are also at Hogwarts. They're families are pureblood. Which means every single one of them is a witch or wizard, though Sirius's family is a lot more prestigious about it then James's. They disown any one associated in any way with muggles or muggle borns.

Oh yes and I happen to talk a mile a minute… and my mind is always jumping from idea to idea… my family and a few close friends are the only people who can keep up.

"Come on Lily! Are you dressed?" mum called. I sighed still debating wether or not to feign illness so I wouldn't have to go. If James gave me another one of those sexy 'come get me' smiles I might actually jump him right there.

I find jumping any one completely indecent but James… oh it's so complicated so I don't want to jump him until my feelings are sorted out. Until then I'll just act the way I usually do. Friendly but in strictly the 'he's a fellow student' kind of way.

"Lily?" mum called.

"Yes I'm ready," I said getting off my bed and grabbing a headband to pull my hair from my face.

I hurried out into the hallway and saw my mother standing in the doorway impatiently tapping her foot.

"Sorry" I said she just shook her head and walked out to the van. I quickly followed locking the door behind me.

I got into the back with them. Eddie was once again driving and it appeared we were the last to be picked up.

"Excited about seeing your boyfriend Lily?" Fran asked with a smile. I glared at her making her laugh.

"Nothing wrong with a little bit of attention" Fran said smiling.

"There is when it's my daughter" dad said glaring at each of the men in the van who all shifted uncomfortably.

We drove for what felt like ages. I passed the time watching the other _Phil's_ vans weave in and out of sight through the back window.

"Whoa" Eddie said as we pulled over. Everyone stared out the windows to the massive four-story mansion.

"I knew he was loaded but wow," I muttered.

"Marry him. You marry him right now" mum said. We all sat there for a few minutes just staring at it.

"Right! We have a job to do" Eddie said snapping us all out of our daydreams.

We all climbed out of van. I continued to stare while the band unloaded everything.

The front door swung open and I saw Sirius running down the front steps. He stopped in front of me.

"Hey. Fancy seeing you here" he said I smiled.

"I bet you made this whole thing up and threw a fake party just so James could see me again" I said

"Lily! I'm shocked and appalled. Of course we made it up!" Sirius said I laughed softly.

"I'm kidding James's cousin is marrying some idiot so this is the engagement party"

"Right… look I have to help set up…" I said

"Of course you do. Oi! Band people. You shall set up around out back. We'll go along the side. Follow me" Sirius said and led the way.

"He's cute… is he single?" Fran asked

"Your twice his age" I said

"Does he not like older women?" she asked I opened my mouth to reply but closed it and just followed my parents who were both carrying microphone stands and a bundle of cords.

"I think if that nice boy wants to talk to you again Eddie will actually let you off duty so you can spend some time with him" mum said.

"Mum you do realise who he is don't you?" I asked

"No… I didn't catch his name. Last time I was singing and I shall be again this time round"

"It's James Potter. And that boy before was Sirius Black. Yes _the _Sirius Black" I said

"Potter?" dad said, "Isn't he that boy from your school you don't like?"

"The very same" I said. My parents exchanged a glance then turned to me.

"Don't you dare do anything to jeopardise this company's reputation" dad said

"You will do anything and everything that young boy asks" mum said

"Anything?" I asked

"Anything!" they snapped.

"His family is extremely wealthy and have actually gotten to know Phil Hathaway himself! I've never even met Phil" dad said.

"If even a whisper of negativity gets to Phil Hathaway your father and I both lose our jobs" mum said.

"Ok. I will be perfect," I said

"You are" James said from behind me. I jumped and spun around my parents laughed nervously behind me.

"Anything" mum hissed in my ear.

"Ah James" Eddie said James turned

"Head waiter guy" James said smiling at him.

"I noticed you've grown quite attached to our Lily over here" Eddie said.

"I have. We go to school together so we've lots to catch up on. Don't we Lily?"

"Do we?" I asked him, he just nodded slowly.

"Alone" he said

"A-a-a-alone?" I stuttered he nodded again then looked at Eddie.

"I don't think Phil would mind" James said.

"Well… um…"

"Oh I see… well we can ask him if you want. He's here" James said

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"Yes… his daughter is marrying James's cousin" Sirius said, "Did I not mention that?"

"No!" we all said.

"Oh… well she is. So everyone be great," Sirius said smiling we all stared at him.

"So Eddie was it?" James asked

"Uh-"

"I know your name I'm being condescending… it's Eddie right? If you don't think Phil wants me to give Lily a lovely tour of my home we can just go ask him can't we?" James asked.

"Well… I'm sure it would be all right. We_ are _a bit overstaffed," Eddie muttered looking at me with an apologetic glance.

I glanced around, ok there were thirty waiters here but still.

"There's some maids inside… if you need any extra help while Lily is gone," James said, "just ask Sirius and he'll run and get you some"

"Please don't leave me alone with him," I mouthed at my parents who were both looking in opposite directions.

"Any more objections? No? Lovely" James said taking my hand and leading me inside through a door on the side.

"Lets start in the bedroom shall we?" he asked I stared at him.

"Lily I'm joking. I know you do this job all summer long" he said

"No I don't. It's only if one of the waitresses are sick" I said

"No, Phil told me your there whenever your parents are during the holidays. And I know it's to help your family pay the bills"

"My family is doing just fine"

"Are you going to keep interrupting me? Because I will put tape over your mouth" he said. I fell silent and nodded indicating for him to continue.

"So I'm going to let you relax for today, and you'll get paid for it. I'll even put in a good word for you and your parents to Phil" he said I stared at him.

"What's the catch?" I asked

"No catch," he said I stared at him with my eyebrows raised.

"Ok you have to spend the whole day with me. But that's not that bad… I'm helping you out"

"Why?" I asked

"Because anyone who had to spend their whole summer working to afford school for the next year deserves to be helped out" he said. I hugged him

"But I've been so nasty to you…" I muttered.

"Yes but I like you, so your mean words actually just wiz by as I stare at your pretty face" he said I laughed and let him go as I took a step back.

"Thank you" I said. He took my hand and led me into a large dining room.

"Now… how about that tour of the bedroom?" he asked with that grin, I almost tripped over as we walked. That's what it does to me.

"I'm quite serious" he said I shook my head

"No thank you"

"I heard what your parents said. _Anything_… so come," he ordered with a small smile.

"I don't think they meant what your thinking"

"What am I thinking?" he asked.

"Sex" I said he raised his eyebrows.

"My, my Lily with all those nasty comments I had no idea you felt that way" he said. I stared at him

"You said it not me," he said raising his hands in defence.

"Your very good at what you do" I said.

"I'm a Marauder… and even if I manipulated the conversation you still said it," he said with a smirk. He led me up a flight of beautiful stairs.

"There are three staircases… this isn't one of the main ones so it's not really fancy"

"Not really fancy?" I repeated.

"Why do you find it fancy?"

"James, you can draw my entire house plan on my own hand. But this place… you'd need four whole body's" I said he smiled.

"What?" I asked

"You've never called me James," he said.

"Huh? Oh… never ever?"

"No… always Potter"

"But I know you as James. I mean your James to me"

"Yes but you've never said it to my face. It's always an insult or Potter… followed by an insult" he said.

"Oh…" I muttered, "Should I not have said it?"

"No. It's nice," he said, "I assume once we're back at school you'll go back to insulting me"

"Well that all depends on how today goes. If you blackmail me into sleeping with you I'll have to do a lot more then insult you. If you persuade me into sleeping with you in a dignified manner I might even call you my boyfriend"

"So either way I get to sleep with you?" he asked

"No! That came out wrong but you get my point"

"Yes. Your willing to have sex with me"

"That's_ not_ my point"

"Can we make it your point?"

"Yes James ok that's exactly my point well done" I muttered he grinned and I noticed immediately his eyes sparkling with that familiar look, he'd just thought of a very good idea.

"What are you thinking?" I asked unsure whether I should be concerned or not.

"Nothing, nothing" he replied and continued up the stairs.

"Ok I just realised my room is a horrible mess so-"

"I want to see your room," I said

"No it's-"

"I want to see it," I said biting my lip and giving him my best lust filled look. He took off at a sprint still holding my hand so I had to run with him. He stopped actually picked me up and continued to run.

He skidded to a halt and pushed open the door still holding me. I only got a quick glance around before he threw me on the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Uh-uh" I said pushing him off and sitting up so I could look around.

"So this is the famous James Potter's bedroom?" I said. He was right it was down right awful, with clothes and books and rubbish just thrown everywhere. Then again mine was also about this messy.

"So how many other girls have seen your room?" I asked

"Actually apart from my mum and a few of the maids none" he said.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded

"Oh I feel privileged," I said "but haven't you had like eighty girlfriends? Wouldn't they have come in?"

"Ten. And no… we're usually in a guest room" he said I nodded feeling rather awkward talking about James's sex life.

"If we get that far. I'm not some womanising pig. Sirius does enough of that for the whole world," he said I smiled at him.

Sirius burst into the room at that moment.

"Sorry to interrupt. Oh you're not doing anything," Sirius said looking rather disappointed.

"Did you want something Sirius?" I asked

"Yes… your parents want you downstairs. Not yours Lily-mu they want to make sure your making James nice and happy. James's parents" Sirius said.

"Why?" James asked

"Well it _is_ your cousin getting married not mine" Sirius said and left.

"I'll be back," James said

"I'll just go with you… I feel bad getting paid to do nothing"

"No" James said grabbing my shoulders making me sit down on the bed.

"You can come if you promise not to do any waitressing"

"James I-" he put a finger to my lips.

"I promise" I said he smiled and led me through the large winding house and out into a beautiful back garden. I tried to take in as much as I could as we walked past but it was hard. Lots of hedging and beautiful flowers and trees were scattered about.

"Parents. You wanted to see me?" James said stopping in front of Georgia and Thomas Potter.

"Still pulling that poor girl around?" Georgia said with an apologetic glance.

"She doesn't mind" James said with that special grin.

"All right then. Well I don't want you to spend all day in your room. Go over and talk to your cousin… his new fiancé his new fiancés father" Georgia said with a pointed glare.

James took me over to where a tall dark haired man stood with a beautiful leggy blonde.

"Benji" James said

"Jimmy"

"Ben this is Lily. Lily this my cousin Ben and his gorgeous fiancé Gina Hathaway"

"Oh James stop" Gina said blushing.

"Where's your father?"

"Oh just there. Why? Trying to get Lily a job? I wouldn't take it Lily… just mooch off the rich and doting boyfriend you've grabbed" Gina said.

"She already works there" James said and dragged me away before I could tell Gina James was not my boyfriend.

"I can go wait tables. I'd really prefer not to meet Phil. I happen to talk really fast when I'm nervous and never ever make sense. And then of course I just say whatever pops into my head and that gets me in trouble. It's nearly always an insult. If you let-" James cut me off by grabbing my face in between his hands.

"It's ok. You don't have to talk if you don't want to" he said looking me right in the eyes. I could feel his gaze boring into me but I was just trapped by his bright hazel eyes to really notice much.

"I love you," I said

--

_Hello readers,_

_I know I'm taking forever to update_

_My stories but my muse is_

_Not happy at the moment_

_Hopefully I'll be back and inspired soon_

_Until next time gang, A.J_

--


	3. Spill It

--

_This chapter is dedicated to my reviewers,_

_You need love, thanks for sticking by_

_Even though I suck at updating a few measly pages worth of work_

_Thanks to Someone aka Me._

_Oh… well a whole chapter just for you_

_Hope you enjoy it, A.J_

--

Chapter Three: Spill It

"What?" James asked.

I'd just told him I loved him. How was I supposed to convince him I hadn't said it?

"What?" I replied

"What did you say?"

"Why? What did you say?"

"Lily" he said sternly.

"Yes" I said. He put his hands on my shoulders and searched my face for some kind of emotion.

"What did you say?"

"I said I love you" I replied "Why would I repeat that?" I instantly scolded myself.

"What?" he asked

"What" I said he groaned and shook his head.

"What?" he asked again. Then frowned and took a deep breath.

"What?" he repeated and shook his head only to spit out another 'what'.

I took a deep calming breath and did what any sensible girl like me would do. I ran for it.

All right I'll admit I am _usually_ a sensible girl and had every intention of talking to him. Unfortunately my legs were not in on the plan and so I was now running for everything that I was worth.

I ran past co-workers and weaved in and out of guests. I ran past my parents singing on stage and thought… Surely their daughter's happiness was more important then buttering up the boss's connections. Then again my happiness was the boss's connection. That seemed to make me run faster.

I ran down the side of the house and out into the street. I had no idea where I was; I don't know anything about James's neighbourhood. I had no idea where I would go once I got to the end of the street. I decided to just keep going. I figured I'd slow down eventually and try to catch a taxi home or something. Then never ever speak to James Potter ever, ever, ever again. As I came to the footpath outside James's house I made my split second decision and ran off to the right.

Nice Lily… really mature just run from your problems…

God when did I become such a coward?

--

I sat at my desk just glaring at my homework.

"Lily?" mum said.

"Yeah?" I said

"Uh… do you think your teacher is going to accept this essay?"

"What's wrong with it?" I asked looking up at her.

"Well for starters it's just got 'moron' where your name should be. The essay itself is titled 'my stupid mistake' and all you've got is forty lines of 'Lily you're an idiot'" mum said. I looked down at my essay. It was true I had not been writing anything even remotely related to potions.

"Oh" I said quietly.

"You ok? You seem a little… off"

"No I'm fine" I said she frowned at me but didn't press it. I was grateful.

"Is it about a boy?" mum asked

"Mum!" I cried.

"I'm just asking. I don't like seeing you like this" she said I sighed.

"Is it?" she urged.

"No mum. I'm gay. Girls are just easier to understand," I said

"Fine don't tell me," she said

"What if I was gay… would you think I was lying?" I asked

"I'd know if you were gay"

"Why? Because you're my mum?"

"Well first off you wouldn't have boys appearing in your room," she said. I spun my swivel chair around to see James Potter standing in the corner of my room.

"James are you nuts! You could have given my mother a heart attack!" I cried.

"Uh… I didn't mean… I can use the front door if you want" James said.

"No it's ok darling. I should get used to Lily's world" mum said then kissed my forehead.

"I'll be in the kitchen kay?" she said then left closing the door behind her quietly. I waited for her footsteps to fade before I turned back to James. He walked over and leant on my desk staring down at me.

"What is _wrong _with you?" I asked

"I know you love your personal space Lily I do… but… well it's been a week since you ran off. And… I just need… uh… why did you run?" James asked. I just shrugged shaking my head.

"I don't get you Lily. Not at all" he said.

"Look… I'm just confused. And like any normal teenager I ran from my problem" I said

"I'm a problem?"

"No… you're _my_ problem. I have to fix this," I said

"There's nothing to fix," he said taking my hands in his.

"Don't you get it? We can be fine if you stop acting like its such a crisis," he said.

"But it is" I said

"Oh… I see…" he muttered and crossed the room standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience to you" he said and left.

"Crap" I sighed. I stood in the doorway of my room staring down the hallway to the front door. I stared at it long after he was gone.

I just told him I loved him and then basically dumped him. I'm the worst girl on the planet. In the solar system. In the universe… I'm the single cruellest human being ever to exist. As I stared and thought over what had happened I could actually pin point the bit where I'd ripped out his heart and jumped on it. And of course that made me feel worse. After a half hour of staring at the door I began to cry… I hurt him so bad… God! I'm such a bitch. All those times Sirius told me I was hurting him… he was right. I was slowly poisoning James Potter and this time… after finally giving him a small dose of a possible antidote I took out my gun and shot him. Metaphors are really crap but it's all I can see to fully understand just what I did.

"Lily you're a moron" I said aloud to myself. I'd been thinking it but to say it aloud confirms it.

"Glad you noticed" dad said I stared at him. He was leaning against the door to the study. I sighed and stepped out of my room so I could lean against the door.

"Lillian… what's wrong?"

"Nothing! There is nothing wrong with me! I'm peachy keen!" I snapped wiping away my tears angrily. "Why is everyone asking?"

"Because. I'm your father and I can sense something bothering you" he said "oh you're also crying which is a dead giveaway"

I just sniffed and wiped my eyes again.

"Elle" dad said. I stared at him. Using the special nickname… he was serious. It was worse then Lillian Zoë Evans.

"Talk to me" he said.

"Boys! They're really stupid is all" I said.

"Which one is bugging you now?" he asked.

"Potter!"

"Again? Ellie come on. You've seen him twice all summer. And I know he's nasty at school but was he really that bad last week? Is that why you ran off? Did he do something?"

"No dad. I did," I said looking at my feet.

"Ellie…" he said

"No. Nothing horrible… ok it was bloody atrocious…"

"I know you're not very popular with boys. They're like a different species to you but they really aren't. They're actually quite normal. Just talk to him… try not to judge on his past"

"Dad I fucked up so bad" I said

"Ellie. From what you've told me over the past seven years about this boy… you may think it was just venting but really it's a lot. You'd rant and rave about how he followed you about, how he was nasty to people but would stop for you, trying to woo you. How irritating he was. But you know in every one of your letters or temper tantrums, or whenever you were home crying out your little heart… I never _ever _saw any hate. And though you often exclaimed you hated how irritating it was to have your own little stalker. You never ever said you hated the boy"

"Daddy I love him," I said.

"Oh… ok forget what I said"

"Dad…" I sighed

"Is it serious?"

"It's Ja- … sorry. It's real… really real. Not something like hoping to marry Johnny Depp. I think this might be the real deal"

"You're giving up on Johnny? But he's so famous…"

"Dad!" I said he smiled.

"Ellie I think you should tell him. James not Johnny… to many Johnny fans"

"I did tell James. Then I told him I couldn't be in a relationship because I'm retarded!" I said beginning to cry again.

"Well tell him your not retarded. I'm sure it'll be fine after that"

"No! Dad… I said I couldn't be in a relationship. I told him that because I'm retarded" I clarified.

"Oh right… why'd you tell him you couldn't be in a relationship?"

"Because I'm retarded!"

"No really why?"

"I don't know. I've hated him for so long and then to have my feelings change… so suddenly"

"I don't think it was sudden. It was so gradual you didn't notice"

"Dad I'm so confused. What do I do?" I asked

"You go over to his house. And fix it" he said.

I sighed and leant against my door. I screamed in frustration and went into my room slamming the door behind me. I sat on the floor of my room till dinner. Then I just sat silently pushing my food around on my plate.

"The freak realised she's a freak?" my elder sister Petunia asked. Dad flicked her ear.

I hated Saturday's at home. Because Petunia and her latest squeeze came around for family dinner. Today she was spending the night so she could help out with the local church fundraiser. Mum had nicely volunteered us all. So while she and dad sung some of their original hits I'd be manning the cake stall and Petunia would be off somewhere hopefully far away from me.

"No. She told a boy she loved him then ran for it" dad said mum and I glared at him.

"David! Honestly…" mum scolded. Dad just grinned and continued to eat his dinner.

"So Tuni… no new boyfriend?" mum asked

"Zack and I are still together. The freak freaked him out so I don't think he'll be coming to family night anymore" Petunia said. Dad flicked her again and she winced.

"We have one night a week where we all sit together. Can you try and act nice?" dad asked then looked at me

"And don't you try anything" he said

"I didn't do anything"

"I know but it's not fair if I yell at her and not at you" he said

"How does that make any sense?" I asked

"Lily don't start" mum said.

The rest of dinner was just Petunia filling us in on her apparently great life. She'd gotten a job as an assistant hairdresser in a salon so she was quite happy. I tuned her out. I didn't need her perfect life making me feel worse about mine. I give myself to much self-pity but I really do feel so down right now. When did life get this complicated?

--

I stood next to Petunia glaring at the cakes in front of us.

"I can't believe this" Petunia muttered glaring at the nun who'd grouped us together.

"Don't blame her ok? And you don't have to talk to me… why don't you heat up the hot water for the coffee's?" I asked she groaned and walked over to the kettle and began to boil it on a portable stove.

"Yeah can I have some mud cake?" I looked up at the sound of that horribly familiar voice.

"Sirius" I said he smirked.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed glancing around. Petunia was busy flirting with the guy who manned the lolly stall beside ours.

"I'm allowed to go to fetes," he said

"But one so far from your house? And you aren't even catholic so don't try pulling that one" I said he glanced at the church

"They freak me out," he muttered. I glared at him.

"What do you want?"

"Mud cake," he said. I cut a slice for him and handed it over. He gave me some money.

"Oh by the way James is really pissed off," he said.

"Why tell me that?" I asked

"So you feel bad," he said I stared at him.

"Your right Sirius. I'm a bitch… I'm a stupid bitch. All those times you told me… said that I'd break his heart… well I did ok! All right? You were right about me! Are you happy? You were bloody right," I said.

"I didn't want to be"

"Well you are! So going to tell me what I already know? Guilt trip me down the horrible path of remorse I stumbled upon not to long ago?"

"Nope. I actually came to tell you to duck," he said

"Duck what are you-" but I was cut off as something collided with me. But instead of falling back and crashing into a wooden table and a few plastic chairs I hit grass. Though yes that hurt a lot it was a lot less then what the table would have.

I stared at what had collided with me.

"James" I said he grinned and climbed off me so I could sit up.

"Where are we?"

"Little valley behind my grandparents cottage" he replied I frowned at him.

"I know there's something you wanted to say. So can you hurry up and say it so I can go back to my horrible,_ horrible_ life" I said.

"You're a bitch," he said bluntly.

"I know," I said looking at my hands.

"I can't believe you! I mean I know you've never exactly been that fond of me. And you call me names and all that" he said. I didn't say anything.

"But never did I think you could be so… heartless. You know how I feel about you…" he said each of his words reminding me of what I'd done

"My heart did back flips when you said you loved me. Then you change your mind… I even thought you'd take it back…" he said staring at me with his sharp hazel eyes. There was no warmth in them at all… they were cold and empty, much unlike the ones I knew and loved. I was in tears by now but I still didn't say anything. He had his right to talk.

"Say something!" he ordered.

"I'm an idiot," I sniffed "I shouldn't have pushed you away. That was mean, inconsiderate… cruel…"

"Too little too late" he said.

"Fine! I stuffed up ok! But usually if a girl breaks a guys heart he leaves her the fuck alone" I said. He gave me a cold smile and disappeared into thin air. I glanced around.

"Oh you are fucking kidding me!" I shouted at nothing.

I understand he was upset but to ditch me in some unknown valley? I sighed and began to walk off to the right. The wind gently swept over me occasionally as I headed toward the hill. I climbed up the valley and then stood at the top glancing around for a sign of anyone. Nothing! I sighed and climbed over the wooden fence that stretched off out of sight either direction. Then silently walked across the green grass. I don't know how long I walked. I just noticed that I stepped over a further four fences. The sun was gone behind some clouds so I had to rely on my watch but after a while I stopped checking.

"Hey!" a voice shouts from behind me. I turn wondering if it's a farmer with a shotgun or some one willing to help.

I see its Remus Lupin, James's friend and voice of reason within their friendship group.

He runs over to me.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh… not going to attack me about ripping out James's heart?" I snapped.

"Lily don't be like that," he said. I groaned and continued my walk across the field. He ran and fell into step beside me.

"I know you didn't mean to hurt him. You were just being honest with yourself," he said. I glanced at him but didn't say anything.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean what am I going to do? I'm not going to do anything. I managed to avoid James for the first three years I was at Hogwarts I can do it for one measly year. Then I'll never have to speak to him again"

"That's not going to stop you loving him"

"Yeah but it's going to prevent me from getting dumped in random valleys. Stupid bastard. I didn't hurt him on purpose. I have got to learn to just shut up, but no… it always slips out with me" I sighed and stopped now at another fence.

"Uh…" I turned to look at Remus. He was looking extremely pale.

"What time is it?" he asked his voice rather shaky.

I looked at my watch.

"Six thirty? Oh my God! That's a whole day gone! Thanks to bloody Potter" I muttered. Remus coughed and then fell over.

"Remus! Are you ok?" I asked kneeling beside him. His breathing was shallow and quick, he looked down right awful. He sat up and tried to steady his breathing.

"Oh my God!" I said he looked at me with wide amber eyes. They were filled with fear.

"You… it's…" I said leaning away from him.

"I have to go" I said he nodded

"Run… really fast," he said breathlessly. I got up and bolted.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf. And by the looks of things he'd forgotten to check his calendar and lock himself in a cellar for the night. I glanced up at the sky as I ran and saw a bit of the full moon poking through the clouds. I picked up the pace and hurdled over a fence. Remus's scream filled my ears and I almost stopped and turned back but then remember by the time I got back there he'd be man-eating beast with a taste for human flesh. So I continued to run hoping I'd eventually find civilisation.

Of course it'd be me running for my life. No it's not bad enough I broke some boys heart and decided my life was not worth bothering with and I'd just let it take it's course… no I have to have a werewolf chasing me. Even though I was quite warm from the entire running thing the howl I heard in the distance made me shiver. I took a quick glance back. I could see the distant figure quickly following me. I turn back to the front and screamed as a deer jumped out in front of me. I stopped and stared at it. It just looked behind me then to the woods on the right.

There was barking and howling. I jumped, it sounded a lot closer then it should have. I glanced at the deer that was staring at me pointedly.

"Oh yeah go into the creepy woods by myself" I snapped at it. It gave me a blank look.

I glanced around and could clearly see the seven-foot tall wolf quite clearly. I frowned at the black thing it was slashing at. I think it was an animal but could not tell from this distance.

I felt the deer nudging my hand. I looked at it.

"What Bambi?" I asked it patted its foot on the ground. I frowned at it. It tapped its foot staring at me.

"Stay here?" I guessed. It jumped and nodded, appearing rather happy I had guessed correctly. It then galloped toward the wolf.

"Lily!" a voice hissed I spun around.

Peter Pettigrew stood on the edge of the woods. Peter was another one of James's friends.

"What are you doing here?" I asked hurrying over to him.

"Doesn't matter. Take these," he said holding up a set of keys "drive back to your house and don't go anywhere till one of us comes to get you"

By one of us he obviously meant his friends.

"Peter I don't understand" I said

"I have to stay… for Remus… but you have to go," he said putting the keys into my hand.

"The car is a ten minute walk into the woods. Just go straight… you should find it easily"

"Peter-"

"Go! Nothing will hurt you in there… its just birds and bugs in there" he said. I glanced into the woods

"What about you?" I asked he just stared at me and I knew this was how he worked. He didn't even bother lying… if he didn't want to tell you something he just wouldn't say anything. I sighed and ran into the woods. I found the car easily. I unlocked the driver side door and slipped in. I'd had a few lessons but was in no way ready to drive on my own. But really what choice did I have?

I put the keys in the ignition and started it up I followed the dirt road through the woods until I came upon a deserted highway and then stopped. I pulled out the street directory and my wand. Muttering a quick spell the pages flipped themselves and stopped on my current location. A little black dot blinked at where I was. I muttered another spell and the dot moved to the left along the highway so I turned left.

I directed myself home having to stop on more then one occasion. I also mounted the curb, scratched another car and took a right turn to sharply so the car hit a street lamp. I stopped the car and checked the damage. It wasn't that bad… I'd apologise to whoever's car this was. I drove very carefully for the rest of the way home hoping I wouldn't get pulled over.

I turned into the street and parked the car unfortunately mounting the curb and hitting the trashcans. I righted the car then got out and waved my wand at the trashcans so they'd fix themselves. I then hurried over to my front door and snuck inside.

"Ellie!" dad hissed I jumped and stared at him. He stood in the hallway, outside his bedroom door in his pyjama's and dressing gown.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Magic" I said bitterly and walked into my room shutting the door behind me. I flopped on to my bed.

"I hate magic," I muttered to myself.

--

_Hello readers,_

_I am soooo sorry. I know I take forever_

_But I updated now… _

_So what did you all think? Review please!!_

_Till later guys, A.J_

--


	4. Indeed

Chapter Four: Indeed

I sat up from my bed. Still fully clothed from the night before. I walked into the hallway and down to the kitchen.

"Hi" I said mum and dad looked up.

"I volunteered you for the fete yesterday Lily because your reliable" mum said cleaning her plate aggressively in the sink.

"I volunteered your sister because I had hoped maybe your reliability would rub off on her. But apparently her disappearing act rubbed off on you. Where did you go so suddenly?"

"James attacked me. Apparated me to some stupid valley and I had to find a way home"

"What?" mum asked frowning at me.

"He left you in a valley?" dad asked I nodded. Mum frowned at me.

"Really? Why don't I believe that?" she asked.

"He did. His friends were there too... in fact that's how I got home I took one of their cars" I said. There was no need to mention Remus to them. I mean a werewolf? That would certainly make my story more believable.

There was pounding at the front door.

"Mum can I not go back to school this year?" I asked ignoring the knocking at the front door.

"Oh no! I never finished high school. After my elder sister died mum took me out of school to work" mum said and looked at dad who knew this was the sign to leave. And also answer the front door.

"Your sister dropped out too... remember? Said she'd work for the year then go back... never did. I will not let you ruin your life like that... you'll be the first Evans to finish high-school... magic school... I'm so proud of what you are already... but I can be prouder" she said smiling.

"Can't I drop out of magic school and graduate normal school? Or at least transfer to a different magic school. Beauxbatons is a nice wizarding school... and it's in France. I've always wanted to go to France"

"You're not changing and your not dropping out!" mum snapped.

"Dropping out?" dad asked frowning at me. Mum and I looked at him and Remus and Sirius behind him just stared. They both seemed to be holding each other up. Remus looked like he'd seen better days and Sirius looked as though he'd gone through a wood chipper or something.

"Don't worry we can't stay long. Moony still needs some help but he wanted to come now. Wouldn't wait another moment" Sirius said and Remus looked like he was going to puke. Sirius put his hand over his friends mouth then looked at me.

"His body still hasn't settled which was why I thought it better to wait till tomorrow at least" Sirius muttered and Remus vomited all over the floor.

"Is he-?" mum began

"Mum... dad it's fine I'll clean it... can I get a moment?" I asked but before my parents could even move Remus burst into tears. I'd never seen any boy over the age of seven cry so I was quite shocked at Remus stood there crying and Sirius awkwardly trying to get him to shut up.

"I'll make some tea" dad said while mum pulled out some chairs so Remus and Sirius could sit down.

"Thanks Mrs Evans" Sirius said gratefully then looked at me. I sat down next to Remus

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I'm so sorry" he said "I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry..."

"It's just tiles Remus... it'll come right off" I assured him.

"No not that. Though I'm sorry I spewed on your tiles but not that... you weren't... nobody's supposed to..." he trailed off

"I'm just so sorry I don't know what's wrong with me. I've done this all my life and I forgot. The one night I forget is the night I happen to be close to at least seven people"

"Re-" Sirius started

"Let me finish!" Remus snapped making Sirius and I both flinch.

"I could have killed you. I could have bitten you" he said looking at me. His blue eyes filled with tears but he refused to let any more fall.

"But Peter was close by... and talk about good timing, that giant black wolf or whatever it was keeping you back"

"Yeah... he bites hard..." Remus muttered "so do I"

"But you didn't get me"

"But I could have"

"But you didn't!" I said as mum put a cup of tea in front of him and sat opposite with dad.

"I shouldn't have been out there at all. I mean I knew James was mad at you and I knew he'd do something... I should have just taken you home..." he said burying his face in his hands.

"Remus I'm fine" I said he let his head hit the table and I could tell he was crying again even though he tried to suppress his sobbing. I looked at Sirius who stared back at me an undetectable emotion strong in his eyes.

I glanced at my parents who were both looking at Remus with their sympathetic faces.

"Well he's pretty exhausted. So am I to be honest so I'll just take my car..." Sirius said holding out his hands for the keys.

"Ok but before you freak out you should know I'm not the best driver" I said handing the keys over.

"What did you do?" he asked glaring at me.

"Well... I mounted the curb a bit" I muttered he narrowed his eyes.

"And hit a few trash cans..." his was giving me the deadliest glare now.

"And I may have accidentally hit a street lamp"

"You are so dead! Evans! I will make you pay for the rest of your natural born life!" he said heading for the door practically dragging the sick and tired Remus along with him.

"Well I can't drive and... I was trying to save my life!" I snapped this made Remus tear up again.

"Padfoot your car is my fault. If I'd remembered then Lily wouldn't have had to use your car and the bust it up a little" he said as he and Sirius crossed the front lawn. I followed them and so did my parents.

"No... Moony none of this is your fault. It's Little-Miss-Muggle over there who can't even drive a bloody car even though it's a muggle invention!" Sirius snapped stopping in front of his car.

"Well it's like getting your Apparation license ok? You have to be a certain age to start learning before you can get it" I said.

The boot of the car popped open and James climbed out.

"Fuck this" he said and pulled Remus up lying him down in the back seat of the car. He grabbed Sirius and led him round to the drivers side.

"It's a car. That you are perfectly capable of fixing so shut up and drive Moony to the bloody vet or something! GO!" James said. Sirius started the car and sped off.

He then turned to me.

"Mr and Mrs Evans" he said brightly and walked over to shake their hands.

"James Potter"

"Charmed" mum said with a small smile.

"Can I borrow Lily for just a second?"

"Don't think so" dad said.

"Fine. I'm sure you can hear what I have to say as well" James said then looked at me "Lily your a twat. But lucky for me so I am. I think we've both done things we aren't very proud of these past few weeks. So I hope we can both agree that it might be best to have a clean slate?"

"You left me to die!" I snapped

"Broke my heart!" he retorted.

"So what? That makes us even?" I asked

"Not in the slightest. But I'm willing to let it slide... even though you and I both know you should be rotting in hell right now"

"How is this a clean slate?"

"We hadn't started yet" he said holding out his hand. I glanced at nothing in particular before reaching out and shaking it.

"Well I think now is a good a time as any to take my leave. Lillian... always a pleasure" he said and kissed my hand before disappearing with a loud _crack_ making my mum squeal in surprise.

"Quick question Lily. The brunette boy... the one that was ill? Why was he worried about biting you? Has he got rabies?" mum asked.

"You don't get her world at all do you?" dad asked mum frowned at him.

"It's weird you don't question it" he explained.

"That's true... its best I shouldn't hmm?" mum said with a smile at me.

"I think it spares everyone the confusion" I said. My parents smiled and accepted this.

--

I stood on a stool letting mum take down the hem of my school skirt.

"Last time I'll have to fiddle with this hmm" mum said.

"I suppose you tick it off huh? Last diaper change and all that"

"Last horrific primary school play" mum said

"I was the best Wendy Peter Pan ever needed ok" I said making her smile. There was a knock at the door.

"Ignore it" I said.

"If you do that he'll just Apparate in anyway" James said. Mum and I spun to face him.

"Can I have another chance?" he asked holding up a bouquet of flowers. Mum looked at me

"It's fine" I said

"We have that wedding reception to get to. Try make it quick" mum said looking from me to James before leaving.

"James... I get that you want to start new. And I'm really all for it... really. But... it's not you honestly it's me. You didn't do anything wrong please stop it!" I said stepping off the stool and sitting down on it.

"But I'm sorry" he said

"I know you are. And I forgive you and everything but you have to understand that I feel weird about being with a guy who's heart I've broken. I mean don't you worry I'm going to do it again?"

"Never mind. Don't answer that..." I stopped and sighed trying to make sure I knew what I was going to say. "My hesitation really had nothing to do with what happened in that valley. It's not you it's me. Just me"

"Ok... well I did buy these for you so..." he trailed off and I took them from him.

"Thank you but I think it'd be better if-"

"I stopped just appearing in your house and delivered them like a normal person would?"

"I was going to say not get me anything anymore. But sure we can start with something simpler like that" I said nodding.

"Um... I don't mean to but... do you still...?"

"Love you?" I guessed he nodded.

"I love you enough" I said.

"Enough for...?"

"Enough that you don't have to ask me every time your in doubt"

"Can you say it again?" he asked.

"Lily! We have to go in ten minutes!" mum cried from the kitchen.

"I have to go get changed" I said

"Lily" James said

"James" I said mimicking his tone.

"Are you ever going to have a relationship with me?"

"You've followed me around since we started school... that's roughly six or so years ago and now you choose to ask me that?"

"Well before there was no chance. Now..."

"If I say anything other then yes your going to be upset"

"That means your going to say something other then yes"

"James... you ask the most difficult questions... I kind of understand why teachers sigh when you raise your hand" I said he smiled

"Lily!" mum snapped walking into the room "did you hear me? We have to go-"

She stopped when she saw James

"Don't worry I'm going" he said and we both watched him walk out the front door.

"I think it should be illegal for them to just teleport in and out like that" mum said

"I can call in a couple favours if you really don't like it" I said looking at her

"It's fine I was just worried about you. He shouldn't be popping in and out of here... it's bad for you" mum said.

"But it's also making me realise that I can't hide forever. Eventually I'll be found" I said.

Mum gave me a small smile and I walked off to my room to get into my Phil's uniform.

My last day of the holidays and I'd spend it watching some happy couple prance about on their special day.

I stood with Don and Tina we watched the happy couple dance as my parents sang a lovey dovey song perfect for the happy couples first dance.

"Hey Lily"

I looked and saw Peter Pettigrew standing in front of me.

"Oh come on! Do all James's friends have to stalk me or something?" I asked.

"Uh it's my sisters wedding" he said

"Of course" I sighed leaning against the wall.

"Things not going well between you and James?" he asked.

"No. I mean... I broke his heart and he tried to kill me how well can a relationship like that be going?"

"Have you gone out yet?" Peter asked.

"No. I don't want to, though it's obvious he does"

"Even after you broke his heart?"

"Yep" I said

"That boy is crazy" Peter muttered taking a sip of his drink.

"You don't think he should go out with me?"

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything but what man on earth would forgive let alone want to date the woman that broke his heart?"

"James Potter" I replied.

"Exactly. And I don't think he meant for Remus to show up. I think he was going to come get you eventually he's not as heartless as you think he is. I mean he forgave you, and what you did was just... inhumane"

"I've stuffed up haven't I?"

"Yeah... but I'm sure you can fix it. He's a nice guy if you'd just give him the opportunity to show you"

"I'm going to"

"Didn't think yo - you what?" he turned to face me his brown eyes wide.

"Right now. How far is James's house from here?"

"Miles Lily... we're no where near his place"

"Do you have your license?"

"Drivers? No"

"No the other one" I said casting a weary glance at Tina and Don who hovered nearby.

"Well yeah but I'm not very good"

"We have to go now"

"You'll see him tomorrow just tell him then"

"Now Peter!" I snapped.

"You can be a bitch when you want to be you know that"

"Yes I'm well aware lets go!"

"Don, can you tell my parents I'll see them at home" I said

"Lily you can't run off in the middle of your job" Don said.

"Then I quit whatever. This is really important" I said "just tell my parents will you?"

"Fine" he sighed shaking his head.

"Ok lets go" I said leading Peter outside.

"If you loose an arm I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"I'll live" I said he nodded and held out his arm. I gripped it tightly and he took a deep breath closing his eyes. There was a second of weightless breathlessness and then it was gone.

We were falling. I screamed and landed on a table covered in food. The food splattered everywhere and I sat up covered in mashed potatoes, chicken, peas and some other things I wasn't really sure of.

"Lily?" James said I looked at him.

"Hey" I said picking a bit of tomato from hair. My head had landed in the salad. I brushed some lettuce off me then smiled at him.

"Hows it going?" I asked.

"Fine" he said casually as if this happened all the time.

"Mum, dad you've met Lily" he said I turned and saw his parents staring at me wide eyed and open mouthed.

"Uh... anyone seen Peter?" I asked

"Peter?" James repeated.

"Yeah I can't Apparate. He gave me a lift" I said. James stood up and held out his hand which I took and he helped get me off the table without causing any more damage. He then looked around for Peter.

"He's under the table" James said "unconscious"

"Oh woops... gosh I'm so sorry Mr and Mrs Potter I'll pay for any damages" I said.

"It's fine dear. Love never stops to wait till dinners over" Georgia Potter said with a smile.

"Did you come from work?" James asked looking at my uniform I nodded.

"I was at Peter's sisters wedding and I was talking to him. And as we were talking I realised that it can't hurt to give us a go. I mean even if we're a horrible couple I won't ever know until I... go out with you... because I love you and I owe it to you and me to give this a go" I said staring at him he stared back.

"Um..." was all he could say.

"Am I too late?" I asked.

"No... your always five minutes early" he said and went to hug me but stopped when he realised I was covered in food.

"Sorry I probably should change first"

"Into what?" he asked I shrugged.

"Come on we'll get you cleaned up before sending you home... don't think your parents will be quite happy with your disappearing act" he said holding my hand.

"You'll see her on the train dear" Georgia Potter said with a small smile.

"Your little friend will wake up and go home and I'm sure you'll catch up tomorrow. The same applies to Lily though of course she's already awake" Thomas Potter said

"I think it's time if Lily went home" Georgia hinted.

"Yes mum" James said obediently.

"Well off you go. And no dawdling James Sullivan Potter I'll know"

James nodded and took my hand

"I promise we won't land on any food" he said making me smile. We disappeared and reappeared outside my house.

"Huh" I said then looked at him "Sullivan?" I asked with a smile

"My great-grandfather was James Sullivan so am I but I get Potter on the end because I'm greedy and wanted three names" he said I laughed.

"Ok... well I'll see you tomorrow" I said

"Just a second" he said taking my hand and pulling me a little closer.

"You look really beautiful"

I laughed "I'm covered in roast chicken and potatoes!"

"Still" he said making me blush. He then kissed me and it was beautiful. I've been kissed before, I mean I'm still in single digits but James wasn't my first though it kind of felt like it. It was just as awkward but really sweet.

"Sorry. Little nervous" he said when we pulled apart "can I try again?"

I nodded and he kissed me again. This time was perfect

"Lily you hussy!" Petunia said. James and I broke apart.

"Making-out on the doorstep. Would have thought you'd turned into... me" she said eyeing James.

"Kill me when that happens" I muttered

"Petunia Evans" Petunia said

"James Potter" James said shaking her hand.

"Oh the really annoying bloke Lily hates?" Petunia asked giving me a bright grin.

"And your the sister she's going to kill. It was awesome to meet you before that happened" James said Petunia glared at me and walked inside the house. I snorted and looked at James who smiled.

"Thank you" I said he smiled

"See you tomorrow" he said I nodded and walked inside the house.

Petunia was standing in the hallway.

"Zack dumped you didn't he?" I asked her as I closed the door behind me.

"We don't work any more apparently! He was in bed with some stupid leggy blonde and then he dumps _me_!"

"Your a leggy blonde" I pointed out.

"But what we had was special"

"Maybe to you" I said

"Love sucks" she said bursting into tears.

"I know" I said "believe me I know"

--

_Hey guys,_

_Yay! Another chapter_

_Kinda went on for a bit but I had no idea what to write_

_But whatever I got this and it's all right I suppose_

_Tell me what you think, leave a review!_

_Until later gang, A.J_

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